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Picture of The Crooked Billet
Image posted by Terry Gilley
Submitted on Friday, 30th August 2013
With picture contributions to 726 other pubs
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The Crooked Billet, Clapton, E5

84 Upper Clapton Road
E5
E5 9JP
Correct details

Served areas

Reviews of The Crooked Billet (Average Rating: 6 of 10) Add Review see review guidelines

Tris C left this review about The Crooked Billet

Dating from the early 18th century but rebuilt in the '50s, probably as a result of bombing, for Mann's later Watney's.
A first in here the other night, not passed since I photographed it almost exactly 10 years ago to the day. Then it was a bit scruffy and edgy, but has now been hipsterfied to accommodate incomers, with the application of a grey/green paint scheme, probably best described as 'wasabi'. Inside and there's much wood panelling in what essentially is a fairly large opened-out, U-shaped room. The floor is modern bare boarded and furniture is traditional with some studded banquettes to the perimeter. Lighting comes from tassel-shaded chandeliers and matching sconce lights with oversized hanging metal shades over the bar; out back there's a very large beer patio, rammed with young hipster types. Music played what is best described as easy listening though quite loud. I couldn't explore the pub due to plague protocols, but had a clear view over it as I was the only indoor customer; overall, the pub seems quite smart and well maintained.
The place was plagued with the curse of ordering over the internet, the website accessed via a QR code. I couldn't pay via this method, preferring Apple Pay so as to leave my card at home. The waitress couldn't really comprehend this so took my order for a pint of Five Points Best before delivering tray after tray of drinks to the garden, customers in effect paying in advance before being placed in a holding pattern like an airliner; was I going to be next in the queue or fiftieth? I decided to walk, hence the automatic '1'. I know these aren't normal times, but The Clapton Hart down the road has greater customer capacity but with table service rather than QR, meaning that when your order is taken, you know your drink is up next and won't arrive after an utterly indeterminate period. When normality returns this may be a decent place for those living locally, but otherwise it's an absolute slog to get here, so I don't envisage a return visit.

On 18th July 2021 - rating: 1
[User has posted 1148 recommendations about 1127 pubs]


Please Note: This review is over a year old.


Pub SignMan left this review about The Crooked Billet

This is a typical roadside pub with a large open plan interior converted from what was clearly once a multi-roomed interior. This means there is now a very large servery in the centre of the room with the majority of the bar facing the rear of the room. The bar counter ahs a pleasant panelled counter and a modified, pump clip lined bar back which reflects the loss of the original through the opening out of the room. Two almost identical seating areas can be found to either side of the bar, both with a mix of check tiles and bare boarded floors and high panelled or exposed brick walls. Seating comes mainly in the form of dining tables and smart chairs but there are also some button backed banquettes and the odd armchair which ups the comfort factor somewhat. There are nice fireplaces on opposing walls and the decor throughout includes a lot of religious imagery, deer skulls, blackboards listing wine and food options and several TV screens, all of which were off during my visit, favouring a really good alternative rock soundtrack instead. A very large patio garden can be found through doors to the rear, offering lots of al fresco seating, much of which is under shelter. There is a bar out here and a small shack was dishing out toasted sandwiches for those not wanting a full meal off the menu. Kids were running amok outside so I stayed in the bar area and enjoyed the excellent music they were playing.
There were four beers on when I arrived – Dark Star American Brown, Trumans Zephyr, Signature Brew Roadie and something from Fixed Wheel which sputtered out as the pint I’d ordered was being poured. The barman generously offered me the ¾ of a pint he’d managed to get out for free, but it looked dreadful so I declined and enjoyed a lovely drop of the Roadie for £4.00 instead.
This is a large pub that seems able to serve a reasonably wide demographic, from the barflies lined up along the bar counter to the young families taking over the garden, everyone seemed to happily co-exist thanks to the space the pub affords – quite how this all works out on a cold, wet day when everyone is forced indoors remains to be seen, but I found somewhere comfortable to settle down and enjoyed my time here.

On 1st October 2018 - rating: 7
[User has posted 2607 recommendations about 2607 pubs]


Please Note: This review is over a year old.


Thuck Phat left this review about The Crooked Billet

A large, hollowed out, 1930's I'd guess boozer with a central bar and large outside area.
The service was fine but the focus seems to be on food with plenty eating on our early evening visit. We were asked, having sat down, if we were eating. We weren't and there was no problem with this. The menu looked interesting though and the food which came out looked decent. I'd give it a go if I was peckish and in the area.
Beers on were Clouded Minds Luppon, Dark Star Hophead, Siren Craft Sound Wave and Five Points Pale. A decent selection although the Hophead wasn't great but the Sound Wave, a few having been pulled, was good.
Not a bad spot.

On 21st September 2016 - rating: 7
[User has posted 670 recommendations about 669 pubs]


View more reviews of The Crooked Billet (6)
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Pub location see interactive map of local area
Map location corrected by Rex Rattus
Clapton, 0.04 miles, 0 min walk (show)
Rectory Road, 0.6 miles, 11 min walk (show)
Stoke Newington, 0.89 miles, 17 min walk (show)
Latest updates View all updates for The Crooked Billet, E5
18th Jul 2021, 19:09
Review submitted by Tris C amended by Tris C
 
18th Jul 2021, 19:09
Review submitted by Tris C

Pub Details

Pub details supplied by members of this site to the best of their knowledge. Please check with pub directly before making a special trip.

  • Accommodation : No last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Bar Billiards : No last updated 01 October 2018 by Pub SignMan
  • Beer Festivals : No last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Beer Garden : Yes last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • CAMRA Discount : Yes - Discount amount not stated by East London CAMRA - last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Car Park : No last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Child Friendly : Yes last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Darts : No last updated 01 October 2018 by Pub SignMan
  • Dog Friendly : Yes last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Function Room : No last updated 18 July 2021 by Tris C
  • Hot Food : Yes - Evenings only - last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Jukebox : No last updated 01 October 2018 by Pub SignMan
  • Karaoke : No last updated 01 October 2018 by Pub SignMan
  • Live Music : No last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Live TV Sports : Yes last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Micropub : No last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Pinball : No last updated 01 October 2018 by Pub SignMan
  • Pool Table : No last updated 01 October 2018 by Pub SignMan
  • Quiz Night : No last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Real Ale : Yes last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Real Cider : No last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • Wheelchair Access : Yes last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
  • WiFi : Yes last updated 12 September 2017 by ROB Camra
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