The Orchard, Salisbury

A new estate pub owned by Marstons. It is a bizarre combination of pizza restaurant and pub/diner sitting adjacent to other businesses – including a takeaway, charity shop and mini-market – in the busy centre of this new, overcrowded housing estate. Sadly it is also the only pub within easy walking distance of the much older village of Boscombe Down. Primarily aimed at eaters, there is little by way of community feel to it and it lacks any sort of atmosphere as everything feels so contrived. There is a carpark which serves all the local businesses, and there is a paved seating area by the front door. Half the interior forms the pizza restaurant part, from which noisy, unruly children spill into the main pub half, which is also full of tables for those wishing to sample the formulaic junk food on offer. There is free WiFi and a gaming machine. The staff were inexperienced, incapable and uninspiring.. The décor is dominated by a faux-1970s carpet and a variety of off-the-shelf bric-a-brac would provide handy ammunition if the locals could be bothered to start a bar fight, all of which failed to make it feel homely. There were 4 pumps on the bar: I asked for Hobgoblin, but it would have needed a knife and fork to eat it, and it tasted disgusting – the worst I have ever experienced. Next up was the Bombardier which was freezing cold and much too fizzy. I couldn’t bring myself to try the IPA or Ringwood Best. Talking to the children – sorry, bar staff – revealed that they know nothing about beer or cellarmanship. I suppose the pub serves its community well enough, but it really isn’t worth picking your way through the estate to find.