The Yellow House, SE16

As the Jolly Caulkers – caulking being the practice of filling gaps in a boat’s hull with rope – this place dates from the early 19th century but was obviously rebuilt in the 1930s. Situated in a bleak area across from the ugly Surrey Quays Shopping Centre, the exterior features ridiculous pierced yellow brises soleil to the windows (see photos) which give the impression that it’s boarded up and closed; it isn’t. You enter via a modern glass office-style door into a room which appears to have original wood panelling, but thereafter nothing of heritage value, the previous two reviews still applicable. This is more a restaurant-cum-cocktail venue than pub, food amounting to a hotchpotch of dishes cobbled together from around the world. Customers amounted to just two in the restaurant area and one outside on my Saturday night visit at 10.00pm. However, I was told by the somewhat brusque barman that the place was shut, which is pub-speak for ‘We haven’t got enough customers to justify staying open, so you can sod off’, not a problem for Whelans next door, likewise the ‘spoons. For the record, there was just one unused pump then a fizzorama of keg stuff, including Neck Oil and something from BrewDog. This place is a complete waste of space, with scant regard for customer service. As Graham says, it’s in the wrong place and last Saturday, so was I; a ten-minute walk had me cradled in the welcoming bosom of the Mayflower.

Official site of The Yellow House - theyellowhouse.eu

Official site of The Yellow House - theyellowhouse.eu

Randomness Guide to London - Yellow House Bar entry

Randomness Guide to London - Yellow House Bar entry

Trendy modernisation attempt of an old pub. First reaction on entering is almost unprintable - arty chairs and sofas, music which is probably described as Jazz Fusion etc. Premium lagers on tap (prices to match) but handpumps unused. Actually having settled down for a bit, it sort of grows on you, but still not great. Came to conclusion it's just in the wrong place.