The Globe, Marylebone, NW1

Corner pub with an open rectangular bar and large windows on both sides so it has a light, airy feel even on a damp August evening. Basic furniture, thankfully with cushions on the peripheral wooden benches at the far end, and limited decoration, so the main focus is the gantried servery along the back wall. Just Greene King Yardbird from one of the pair of slightly hidden handpumps, but for a change I went for the rarely seen Weihenstephaner Hefe Weissbier (£5.60).

Small, spartan and charmless knocked-through corner pub. Wood floor, white paint and a single exposed brick wall indeed almost nothing of interest in decor items bar some of those dreadful hipster filament lights. Three pumps and only a mediocre St Austell Tribute on, laughably priced at £2.20 served up by a cloth-eared barman who I assume was struggling to hear me over the deafening Coldplay assaulting our ears. There’s also some craft stuff so lord knows how much they’ll try and con you for that. Clientèle consisted almost solely of squawking 20somethings who seemed more interested in posing than drinking. It's rare to find somewhere so utterly functional and zombie-like a pub as this one. Terrible.