The Kings Arms, Colchester

The bar on the right wall is split down the middle leaving two identical serving counters. Six cask ales are supported on two banks of six hand pumps and there is a standard and premium keg selection. Down the left hand-side of the pub is a sunken seating area and, during a recent Thursday evening visit, the televisions were airing muted Channel 4 whilst some background music played. The gent’s toilet was out-of-order, so the male customers had to use the disabled toilet which was a complete mess and had no toilet paper. Out the back is a large paved beer garden with well-tended covered seating down the right side. Maybe whoever looks after this area should have a go at cleaning the toilets! Also in the garden was a large marquee that was full of high tables and stools. The service was polite, but I wasn’t that impressed with the King’s Arms so do not plan to return when next in the area.

I should add, in fairness, that they were very happy to give tasters to my pals, what a shame it didn't even occur to me to ask likewise for whatever was badged as Lomond. If anyone's interested, my pub rating was still 7, oh, and the manageress was very pretty. 5 July 2009 Gk ipa (served two ways! No, & no thanks), Abbot, Goffs Jouster, Wickwar Bankers Draft, Batemans Miss South Africa, Lomond Gold. Large central hexagonal island bar serving various drinking areas, dark wood to street, tiles to right, more wood, carpet to left/rear. Very large, mostly paved, outside area with lots of picnic sets, some umbrellas, a long open wood-roofed area to rt & a small tented set-up nr door. Front bar has a mix of wooden furniture and a nice large corner window fully open to the street in yesterday's sunshine. Small & large plasmas, but no Sky, they aint looking for the football set. Now the problem: one of my halves was Lomond Gold (it's not), calls itself blonde (it's not), sounds tasty (it's awful). When the barman agreed that it was far from what he expected when he had tried it earlier I asked whether it might be changed for summat else, he referred me to the 20-something, pierced-tongued, manageress who rightly claimed that the pub could not be responsible for a brewery's pumpclip and that I should have read the tasting notes (a brief-sheet I hadn't seen on the bar), she then disappeared. Lomond Gold wasn't listed, enabling me to ask the barman if I could have another word. She maintained the stance that they couldn't just ‘give away' beer because a brewery's (clip) notes/descriptions were wrong. I shouldn't have let frustration allow an F to slip out, but I apologised and said not to worry, I'd just state that in my report. Suddenly she couldn't give me a replacement quickly enough. I really didn't want to make such an issue and would have backed down if she hadn't dismissed me quite so summarily in the first instance. Looking now at Lomond Gold tasting notes (and SIBA gold award), I can only think that the pump was wrongly clipped – what came out bore no resemblence to the descriptions available, and was pretty foul. Despite all this, I rather liked the pub and would certainly return (if allowed to after this diatribe…)

This is a gastro-style Greene King pub, just outside the town centre. The pastel colour scheme, both inside and out, and the bare floorboards make the place feel like an unbranded gastro chain pub and the cheap food menus and large number of diners suggest that food is the main pull factor. The interior is split level, with a raised bar area which has a wide space for vertical drinking as well as a few high stools along drinking ledges. On the lower level there are two carpeted rooms with standard tables and chairs, which were all taken by 17:00 on a Friday afternoon. Newspapers were available attached to large sticks, presumably to stop people walking out with them and easy listening music was quietly playing in the background. Three ales were on when I visited - Greene King IPA and London Glory and Hardy and Hanson Old Trip (£3.00), despite there being six available pumps. The taps offered Aspall Cider and Estrella and Peroni lagers among others. My pint of Old Trip was served too cold. The pub has a very clean cut feel to it and therefore felt pretty bland to me. It was packed with young professionals, who I guess would be a big part of this place's target market, but I'm afraid it didn't do much for me and I doubt I would return given better pubs a short distance away.