Simmons, Clerkenwell, EC1

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Tris C left this review about Simmons

From around 2000 until just a couple of weeks ago this was the Well and before that the George; the old Finches regalia can still be seen to the exterior's corner.
My first visit to a Simmons and based on this trip, probably my last; I was rather under the impression that the brand was supposed to be a bit upmarket when in fact it's aimed at cocktail-swilling kiddies.
Open Sunday to Thursday until 12.00 pm (when will people understand the difference between am and pm?), thereafter until 1.00 am with live DJs from 9.00 pm on Friday and Saturday. I wonder how long these generous opening hours will continue once the owners realise just how dead this area is at weekends?
This was formerly a more food-led pub, due to which I never visited, but this is a bare boarded affair with black bare brick walls and some white tiling. To the rear there's some form of fluorescent lighting artwork beneath which is a helical staircase leading down through a gloomy - empty - basement bar to the lavs, passing a small aquarium set flush into the wall.
Furniture is less than basic with cheap trestle tables looking like something on which you'd paste wallpaper. Dirt-cheap low, mismatched stools constitute a bearable seat for a thankfully brief stay and a glitter ball on high provides light which plays off the walls. Music was about the only bearable element, being muted Aretha Franklyn and Stevie Wonder over the high-fi.
Unsurprisingly there's no real beer, with a couple of chrome founts dispensing the likes of Guinness, Mortimer's Orchard cider for Worzels and some Meantime's craft ale - my pint of Yakima Red set me back an unsurprising £5.00.

This may no longer be a restaurant, but it's certainly not a pub. Rather it's a soulless place devoid of atmosphere or creature comforts which may explain why every other pub in the area was heaving on this warm evening but we were pretty much the only customers in here. A return visit? Unlikely.

On 24^th May 2017 - rating: 2
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