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Poll for Lancaster crawl June /July 2026 with Bucking Fastard
on the Pub Forum
Detail Pages
Simmons, Clapham, SW4
SW4
SW4 7SS
Reviews (Current Rating Average: 2½ of 10) see review guidelines
David Walton left this review about Simmons
Visited 01/09/25. Visited previously 27/02/23.
No cask. Small draught keg offering of Neck Oil, Stella, Asahi and Camden Hells.
This is a long narrow shop fronted type venue with a small amount of seating at the front on a v busy road. Inside it is bare boarded with a chessboard tile skirt along the bar counter which is along the left-hand wall in the front part of the venue. Seating in this front part is via leather banquettes serving tall tables with tall stools the other side thereof. There is a drinking ledge with tall stools along the right-hand wall level opposite the bar counter. Up a couple of steps beyond the bar counter is another seating area with a banquette and tall tables on the right-hand side of this part. A DJ booth just to the right of and before the step up has a red neon sign proclaiming "Kingpin" with some bowling paraphernalia. No screens, high ceiling, and a skull shaped glitter ball with mirrors on the walls threw the light around to the sound of a very poppy soundtrack - all par for the course in a Simmons!
On 18th April 2026
- rating: 3
[User has posted 1590 recommendations about 1565 pubs]
Bucking Fastard left this review about Simmons
Doesn't open until late afternoon even on a Saturday,but will stay open late.Modern bar ,long and thin with high tables either side of the entrance,bar then to the left,a mixing desk in a raised booth then some steps to more high tables at the rear.Eardrum splitting noise even at 4PM,the keg offering was limited and multinational crap with the best option seemingly Neck Oil,which needed a barrel change.This gave me time to reflect and I quickly turned turtle never to return.
It's the sort of bar which can give any serious pub man a nightmare,absolute avoid despite the presence of lots of women of indeterminate age.
On 18th January 2026
- rating: 2
[User has posted 3141 recommendations about 3141 pubs]