Ox, Poole

Official site of Ox - www.oxhotel.co.uk

Official site of Ox - www.oxhotel.co.uk

Another 'M' bar – a parody of a wine bar trying to be a boutique hotel that feels more like a joke than an actual pub, previously The Central Hotel. Retention of the original floorboards almost makes the whole thing more grotesque. The ground floor of this Victorian former hotel, once a fine local, has been knocked through to form a single large L-shaped bar, with a small wood-floored extension to the long end. The left hand side is mainly laid for diners, while the remainder has faux-chic furniture and a range of glass, plastic and cheap chipboard furniture which has the air of an oversized dolls' house. At the back is a small, tidy paved garden. There is an overwhelming stench of cheap market perfume emanating from the would-be WAGs who totter around precariously on their ridiculously vertiginous stilettos trying to impress overweight men in tracksuit bottoms and trainers. The bar staff, all of whom stand too far away from their David Beckham-endorsed electric razors in the morning, look as though they would be better employed as bouncers at a Sunday school picnic. There is a collection of prints and photos on the walls which were presumably rejected by a local primary school. There are nine lagers and ciders on the electric pumps, while of the 5 stainless steel handpumps, only one was working. This was dispensing Landlord, and it's the very worst I've ever had. The whole place just screams pretentiousness and is truly awful, well worth avoiding when there are so many proper pubs nearby.