The Five Bridges, Queenborough

Typically anonymous, new-build Marston's pub / restaurant with various seating and (mostly) dining areas in an overall L shape around the central servery. Also has some patio tables to one side for the better weather. Disappointingly, just Pedigree (£4.35) available from the two banks of four handpumps.

In 1940 the Luftwaffe was blamed for bombing the Isle of Sheppey. Several bombs landed on Queenborough causing over £7M worth of improvements. The site is now occupied by a large retail park which includes this Marston’s new-build pub cum kindergarten. There is plenty of parking for 4WDs and people-carriers which is shared with the shops, and there is an area of seating at the side with plenty of tables and benches, and play apparatus for the ghastly, obese offspring of the pyjama-and-slipper clad females to ignore while they run feral around the interior. As we only wanted a drink we were asked to sit in the same area as these humanoids, noting that it was almost impossible in many cases to discern where the pyjamas ended and the tattoos began. It was neither peaceful nor pleasant, and I take my hat off to the long-suffering staff who were screamed at, tripped up and abused by the aforementioned arguments for contraception. The staff were not only patient, they were friendly and cheerful albeit reluctant to let us sit somewhere quieter. The single large bar was roughly L-shaped and has a tiled floor which must be mercifully easy to clean. There were 4 hand pumps on the bar but only one ale on, Pedigree, despite there being a Hobgoblin clip on one. The ale was average. Given that there are alternative pubs nearby I don’t think I’ll be revisiting this one.

Official site of The Five Bridges - www.fivebridgespubisleofsheppey.co.uk