Holes Bay, Poole

A Table Table outlet attached to a Premier Inn on the edge of an industrial estate near Dorset's most boring water feature. It is reached from the main road, the car park being scruffy and crowded. It is unappealing from outside and depressing inside. Having fought our way through packs of uncontrolled children screaming dementedly (the children, that is), we reached the bar, which has the ambiance of a Spanish pox clinic with its furniture-that-G-Plan-Rejected range of seating and décor and its mix of carpeted and parquet flooring. The food is over-priced garbage and the staff are ignorant. The muzak is dull, the ornaments dotted around are mostly boot fair rejects. There are some gaming machines, and these seemed popula. This all provides a visual counterpoint to the painted exposed brickwork and stained-pine wall panelling. It's all either an ironic nod to 1970s aesthetics or a cheap and nasty interior development done by a blind gibbon – I haven't decided which. There were 3 ales on tap – I had a pint of Rev James which was flat and vinegary; it was so unenjoyable I left most of it. I would stay here for the B&B but have no intention of drinking here again.