Toby Carvery South Croydon, Purley Oaks, South Croydon

Huge, sprawling Toby Carvery pub on the main Brighton Road into Croydon. The single room is so large that it wasn’t really possible to take everything in during my brief visit, although it offers essentially the same things as any other pub in its chain. There is a wide range of seating options, from dining tables and chairs, to high tables and stools and low tables with sofas. The walls were decorated with a confused mix of pictures, including a corner seemingly dedicated to Churchill, a photo of the Queen Mum sinking a pint and, apropos of nothing, a photo of Vinnie Jones. These are mixed in with all sorts of old photos, some quirky sketches and more mirrors than you would care to mention. A gas effect fire was doing its best to warm this vast expanse and some piped music of the sort you tend to hear in lifts, was doing its best to kill off any last notion that you’re in a pub. Beer choice amounted to London Pride and Young’s Best, the latter costing a rather surprising £2.10 and in acceptable condition. The barman who served me looked like he would rather be anywhere else but behind the bar, but at least he was quick to serve me. I had a quick look at the menu and food seemed reasonably priced, but I imagine meal times are probably pretty grim in here. I came away from this place feeling as though I’d just had a pint in a hotel lobby, such was the total lack of atmosphere and character. This is probably a default location for a lot of parents wanting to take their kids out for a meal and I’m sure it suits this purpose well enough but I’m afraid that I won’t be coming back myself.