Mango Bar, Coulsdon

My quest to drink in every pub and bar in the Borough of Croydon has landed me in a fair few grot holes, but Mango Bar has effortlessly eased itself into the number one spot, by being totally bereft of any redeeming features. Formerly known as Pistols Wine Bar, the place has seemingly been refitted to look like a venue which has recently received a visit from the bailiffs. A bland, almost empty two tiered interior sees the servery run along the left hand side, with a marble effect counter and plain mirrored bar back. There is ample standing room, although I can't begin to imagine where they would find enough people willing to spend time here for it to fill up to this degree. Chesterfield sofas and tub chairs are positioned to the front and down the right hand side, whilst there are some more comfy chairs on the slightly lower rear seating area. A mirrored pillar stands in the middle of the room and is perhaps the most interesting thing in the whole bar. Every other pub I visited in Coulsdon was busy, either because they were showing the Chelsea match, or because they were in some way appealing, but there was just the one other customer in when I turned up and the TV was showing some trashy reality show. The barmaid helpfully explained that the owners didn't want to pay to show football and I guess this decision was reflected in the terrible custom they got in return. Suffice to say there was no ale on the bar, just three keg lagers and one keg cider. I thankfully spotted a bottle of Pedigree in the fridges and decided to have that. It set me back £3.00. The barmaid was at least very friendly and much more pleasant to chat to than the knuckle dragger propping up the bar. This is a truly awful place - I almost can't believe how bad this visit was. If I lived in Coulsdon and fancied going to a bar for drinks and a dance on a Friday night, I wouldn't hesitate to get the bus into Croydon rather than frequent this dump. Avoid at all costs, unless you have a morbid sense of curiosity.