Christopher's, WC2

Calling itself a Martini Bar, Christopher's is entered up a small flight of stone steps which lead to what should be an imposing circular atrium but is cheapened by the presence of a rather tacky black reception table, the sort you might find on a WI picnic. Behind it, 2 ladies who speak almost no English wait to ambush you, try to persuade you to turn left into the restaurant then look like whipped puppies when you tell them you're just here for a drink. The bar looks like a parody of a James Bond set, a grand room with neat little rows of tables. There is, of course, no real ale, nor indeed draught beer of any kind. The cocktails lack sophistication and are served in retro 1970s style glasses. They are predictably overpriced. Food in the restaurant was trendy and, to use a word much loved by another of our regular contributors, poncey. There is very little I like about this place; Christopher can keep it.

No real ale of any description.