Mr Pickwick, Milton, Southsea

A vile toilet masquerading as a pub. This backstreet local has an impressive facade, blue-painted vaulted glazed bays at the front and a single knocked-through, U-shaped bar within, with a long counter. Crawling over piles of chewing gum and fag ends to get in, we found the interior to be malodorous, noisy and menacing. The locals, those that were still able to stand, were unpleasant and belligerent. The lavatories were relatively clean – relative to the rest of the pub, that is. The staff were stroppy and reluctant even to speak to us, let alone serve. There was no real ale on; apparently no-one drinks it any more. To misquote Dickens's eponymous protagonist, there are dark pubs on the Earth, but the light ones are stronger in the contrast.