White Swan, Deptford, SE8

This is an emerald green painted Irish themed pub, and you are greeted with “Slainte” on the door. It was evidently once The Swan Hotel judging by antique exterior stone signage. There’s no real ale in here, just the usual fizzy stuff plus extra cold John Smith’s. No sign of any food on Wednesday lunchtime either. Furnishings are black and brown plastic upholstered banquettes and chairs, plus some simple wooden tables, and chrome framed tall stools at the bar. The pillars have rope wound around them, I guess as a way of tipping their hat to the maritime heritage of the river a short walk away, or else to minimise injury to anyone bouncing off them! There's a dartboard and a pool table, as well as TVs of course, one which of which was tuned to Loose Women with the sound piped through a speaker system. For some people a pub with a pint of Stella and loose women would be the perfect combination , but I'm unlikely to pay a return visit.

No real ale. No Guinness and no atmosphere.