The Swan, Kidderminster

The Swan has a U-shaped serving counter that supports standard and premium keg alongside Neck Oil and two banks of three hand pumps that were drawing Wye Valley’s Butty Bach, St Austell’s Proper Job and a Stan’s cider from Thatchers. This was the last pub of an extensive crawl of the town so I decided to finish off with a pint of Proper Job that was well served by the polite barperson. The pub was very quiet late on a recent Thursday so I didn’t really venture out of the front area where high tables run across the windows and a beer shelf runs up the right-and wall opposite the counter. There was some background music playing and muted Sky Sports was on the televisions. This isn’t somewhere I’d go out of my way to revisit, but its central location means that it’s worth popping in for a beer.

Centrally located opposite the Town Hall and close to the bus station, the inside has been roughed up by some PubCo thugs. Inside is an L shape with the counter dead ahead as you enter, there’s a long room down the right hand side furnished with tables and chairs. Laminate floors, pallet wood instead of Tongue and Groove, dodgy stone wall patterned wallpaper and a brick and stone counter make it a design nightmare. Having moaned about the decor, I had a pint of Proper Job and it was excellent (NBSS 4), the only other cask choice was Trooper across the six pulls in two banks of three. Usual suspects on keg and oddly a beer board listed the kegs and their strengths and origins; possibly charmingly, perhaps disingenuous or maybe taking the piss out of CAMRA pubs; Carling was listed as from Canada, not sure which bit of Burton upon Trent that is. Amstel was shown as Netherlands, I think it’s Tadcaster brewed and Fosters is down as Australia, good grief. John Smiths Smooth crap is definitely Taddy brewed and definitely avoid at all costs, it only said England as a source. Screens, machines and piped music of course, it also does a Full English from £3.95, Mondays to Saturdays up to 1pm.

Probably the most prominent of the town-centre pubs, being located across the square from the town hall. With a curved frontage but a 'L'-shaped counter, the refurbished interior is an odd shape and seating is at a premium. Bath Ales Gem, Betty Stogs (£3.50) and a cider available from a total of six handpumps.

Just across the road from Kidderminster Town Hall, the Swan is an old town centre pub dating back to the 1860's. I arrived here after 23:00 on a Saturday night only to find the place in full-on nightclub mode, much to my surprise having read a good write up on the pub and its ale policy in a CAMRA magazine earlier in the day. Having gone though a bag check by a friendly doorman outside, I found myself in a concrete floored U-shaped room with an angular, faux-marble counter servery opposite. There is a fake stone wall to the right with a large clock and some TV screens showing music videos, whilst the windows look out across the square outside, which probably makes for some decent people watching in the day, but in the night, all you could really see were the few tables and chairs arranged on the pavement outside. Elsewhere in the front part of the pub, I spotted a Worcester rugby shirt hung from a ceiling beam and a lot of Six Nations bunting, suggesting that live sport gets an outing on the screens during the day. The room extends to the rear down the right hand side of the bar, into a long, narrow bare boarded area with a drinking ledge down one side under a large mirror, whilst banquettes provide seating options to the left. A DJ was set up in a booth to the rear of the room next to a bare brick wall and fireplace with a nice stained glass feature. A door to the left of the DJ booth leads out to a rear courtyard with its own bar and limited standing room overlooked by a couple of nice old Swan signs. The DJ was really going for it when I arrived and the locals seemed to be loving it, singing along to all his cheesy tunes and turning the rear part of the pub into a dancefloor area. The bar was well stocked with ales - six were on in total, comprised of Bewdley Worcestershire Way, Worcestershire Sway and Sir Keith Park, Sharps Doom Bar, Davenport Original and Pennine Hair of the Dog. I tried a pint of the latter for £3.30 which was pretty good and then, for reasons I can't entirely explain, decided to put up with the carnage within to also sample the Sway, which was excellent. This was a crazy visit and certainly not something I'd be looking to repeat. I got the impression that this is a pretty good pub that knows how to keep its beer well, but it didn't strike me as the cosiest of spots and I can think of several other pubs in the town centre that do this sort of thing better. This probably works better as part of a crawl, for which it would be an obvious one to include - just make sure you don't leave it until last unless you want the full disco experience.