White Hart Hotel, Uttoxeter

I’m not entirely sure what the White Hart Hotel is trying to be, the front and rear certainly feel like completely different establishments. The front of the building feels like a pub with split-level dimly lit seating areas and a pool table that was being used by a couple of twenty-something locals. Then on the right-hand wall is a bar counter with three hand pumps, one of which was reverse clipped leaving TT Landlord and Pedigree as cask options. Premium keg was also available, but the middle aged businessmen, who I assumed were staying in the rooms upstairs, were sampling the heavily advertised cocktails. Then at the rear is a dining room and lounge where all teeth are brilliant white and rat-like dogs are kept in handbags. The addition of a shiny life-size gorilla at the entrance had me very disorientated, so much so that I ended up ordering a Cool as a Cucumber cocktail for £8. After being assured by the friendly barman that it was refreshing rather than sweet I sampled the syrup that had the hairs on my molars screaming for toothpaste, wowzer, no wonder veneers are so prevalent. I would have returned it if wasn’t on expenses. This place is eye opening and very weird, so I’ll not be returning, probably.

Very much an eaterie place. It seemed very 1980's wine bar stylee to me, which was even more accentuated by the hideous 80's soundtrack being played in the background (Sade, Lionel Ritchie, Curiosity Killed The Cat). 3 real ales on.