Honest Lawyer, Scunthorpe

Tidy place that feels like a shop conversion. Is it a micro? Long and narrow interior which is well lit, modern marble effect tiled floor two tone green and white paint with a fair amount of fake flora and fauna hanging around including one outside that says ‘Up the Iron’ and looks a bit like it was swiped from a hearse. There's a nice embossed plaster strip running around the wall, as well as some modern tiled feature pieces. Three cask on which is quite a comedown from older reviews, my Great Newsome Holderness Dark was in good nick (NBSS 3.5) if a somewhat short measure. Nice laid-back atmosphere with a better-heeled clientele than the average Scunny pub. It’s GBG listed so basically a no-brainer if you visit the town.

The Honest Lawyer is a thin L-shaped shop converted bar with a bar counter up the right that faces high tables that run up the left. standard seating at the rear wraps around to the right. Upstairs is a dining area that I didn’t visit. The counter supports standard keg and Madri. I also noted seven hand pumps, but four were unused and one was being used as a blue roll holder. This left Sharp’s Sea Fury and Solar Wave, the latter being reverse clipped. There was a quiz in progress during my recent Wednesday evening visit so it was reasonably busy. It also seems to be popular with local bikers. The Sea fury was well served, but it isn’t my favourite pint so it was a shame that it was the only choice. The guy behind the bar seemed friendly, but I didn’t really enjoy my stay. Let’s hope that I just caught it on a bad day and maybe I’ll pop back in to reassess if I ever find myself in Scunthorpe again.

Official site of The Honest Lawyer - www.honestlawyerbar.co.uk

Official site of The Honest Lawyer - www.honestlawyerbar.co.uk

There are two things that mean that this pub practically recommends itself to anyone visiting Scunthorpe, Firstly, it is just around the corner from the train station, making it an ideal place to start or finish your visit and secondly, it has by far the best selection of beer you will find in town (apart perhaps for the nearby Wetherspoons). The pub has the feel of a shop conversion, as it has a very narrow, single room layout. There are wooden floorboards and half panelled walls with a ceramic dado running around the room. The bar is immediately to the right upon entry and when crowded, it can be difficult to fight your way through the bar area to the slightly more open rear half of the room. Opposite the servery there are high stools next to some small drinking ledges, but the rear of the room has a mix of pew and low stool seating as well as a table that is made from a low, four-sided bookcase, full of what look like legal texts. An Honest Lawyer mirror hangs above this table with the pub’s logo on it. The pub has been decorated with a variety of legal themed items including courtroom style sketches and an amusing wooden advert for truncheon makers – slogan ‘Probably produces the best bonk of all!’ The pub is popular with Scunthorpe United fans and welcomes well behaved travelling supporters too. There is a small outdoor area at the front of the pub which has Scunthorpe United flags from around the world hung above it. There is also a framed shirt at the front of the pub and a screen shot from Sky Sport News behind the bar which captured the moment when Scunthorpe led Chelsea 1-0 in the cup a few years ago. There are two banks of four hand pumps which were dispensing Timothy Taylor Landlord, Nelson Pinnacle, Morland Old Speckled Hen, Springhead Rupert’s Ruin, Hook Norton First Light, Cottage Merchant Navy, Daleside Bitter and one other that went off before I could make a note of it. Addlestones Cloudy Cider was also available as well as the usual keg suspects. I tried a pint of the Nelson Pinnacle and was sorry to find that it was one of the most unpleasant beers I have ever had the misfortune to buy. Eager to make up for this, I decided to have a pint of the Rupert’s Ruin, which thankfully was much better. Food is available in the separate upstairs restaurant called Gallows. I quite liked this place, despite the fact it will forever be associated in my mind with that terrible pint, and enjoyed a quick return visit before getting my train back home. It is ploughing a bit of a lone furrow in terms of providing a good range of interesting beers and I hope it goes from strength to strength.

Nice pub, friendly landlord, excellent restaurant upstairs, fine ale, cider, TV, small and cosy, but just lacking in customers. Small enough for everyone to stand at the bar, and it has a sort of club atmosphere, and very handy for the railway station. Usually does well when the rugby is on, which tells you a lot about the clientelle.