The George (JD Wetherspoon), Staines Town, Staines Upon Thames

Almost certainly a shop conversion 'spoons on two levels, stairs curve upwards near the front. Entrances front and back so more natural light than in some of this type, booth seating available on each floor as well as the usual crammed in tables. Upstairs there are potted biographies of former locals Christine Keeler, Danny Blanchflower and Alan Ayckbourne. Service was prompt and friendly from the young Eastern European barmaid, there were a couple of international craft collaboration beers on but I opted for the Bingham's Space Hoppy, good value at £2.35 for a fuller strength brew. Tennis showing on TV, I'd have preferred the Ashes but don't think they do Sky. Functional but satisfactory and after the disaster that was The Two Rivers, thank you.

So when did dull old Staines suddenly acquire the grandiose and pretentious title of Staines Upon Thames? The "Upon Thames" addition is there to make the place name unique from others with the same name (Kingston, Richmond and Henley being good examples) rather than a futile attempt to raise the profile of what will always be a very boring provincial town. I don't know any other places called Staines that might cause confusion. The George is situated right at the end of the pedestrian High Street and is a fairly typical town centre Spoons. It's GBG listed so I expected a great selection of beers from the twelve pumps, but ended with disappointment. There were five pumps devoted to cider (3 Marcle Hill and 2 Old Rosie) then the 2 GK beers and the extremely boring Courage Best. This left Wychwood Bountiful as an uninvited guest plus three Locale beers from Sussex(!). These were WJ King Brighton Best, Welton's Persian Princess and Hammerpot Red Hunter. I went for the Brighton Best (2.29) which wasn't that great and certainly wasn't GBG quality. This was the least enjoyable of five Spoons visited on the day despite the GBG listing.

Run of the mill standard Wetherspoon with the consolation of having a good range of real ales on at a reasonable price.