O'Neills, SW4

This impressive mock-tudor building, just off Clapham Common and practically opposite the tube station of the same name, has been through several different identities in recent years. It is currently operating as the area's O'Neill's outlet, supposedly bringing a little bit of Ireland to South London, but in reality bringing another nuisance binge-drinking barn to an area flooded with vertical drinking venues. Entering past the obligatory doorman, you find yourself in a spacious L-shaped front section, with the bar tucked away to the rear right. There are some awkward looking raised banquettes on a platform down the left hand side of the flagstone floored room, with standard seating on a larger raised section to the right. Moving further into the room, you soon notice a lounge area of sorts, opening out in a carpeted space to the left, split from the rest of the pub by some small dividing walls and pillars. The pub extends a surprising distance to the rear, where another large seating area can be found behind the servery and a few nice, curved padded banquette booths are lined up along the left hand wall. Décor is limited to the usual depressingly predictable Irish brewerania, and whilst the TV screens were off in favour of quiet background music, live sports were being advertised which suggests they get regular use. Two hand pumps were clipped when we arrived, but the Doom Bar had just gone off, so I was left with Everards Wonderland as the remaining option. This was my first pint of 2014 and I hope I don't encounter another as flat and lifeless as this one. The bar staff were friendly enough, but mind-blowingly slow, so that a simple order of four drinks took the best part of ten minutes to be prepared and paid for. There are quite a few decent pubs around Clapham Common which makes me wonder quite how we ended up in this place. Whilst things were relatively civilised throughout our visit, I can imagine the place is a nightmare at certain times of the week and I really can find very little to recommend.