The Goat, SW11

One of three pubs accidentally visited in this vicinity the other day, fooled into entering because of their traditional pub names, when in fact they are conversions and as mentioned, this was a temperance hall with an interesting snooker history documented by CAMRA. You enter and descend into a large lower ground floor area, dimly lit with most light coming from a mass of TVs, mixed furniture and a young crowd, all to an unbearable cacophony. Ale amounted to the disappointment that is Doom and Pride, both clips reversed. As I couldn’t face any more keg – undoubtedly at a price – noise and sheer horror, I decided to just bail out; I’ll leave this one to the area’s sizeable Club 18-30 brigade.

A nice old building, as described previously, which now seems to be chasing the trendy cocktail bar/coffee shop vibe of the various establishments along the road. The lower level containing the bar is done up in the usual grey/green decor and festooned with small lights. Upstairs seems to be laid up for dining but was not open. Two sets of triple handpumps offered only Doom Bar, or rather didn't as it was off, so back to some fizzy craft ice pop. Forgettable.

An unusual but attractive green tiled frontage, replete with a dome and formerly a temperance billiards hall designed, I am told, by MC Escher. Sadly the interior in no way matches the promise of the exterior. Enter down some steps to enter a long quasi-subterranean bar with an upstairs area. Dark wood floor with nice inlaid colour tiling though the nasty yellow paint on the walls did it no favours. At the rear of the room, on a raised seating area blessed by a skylight, are many different framed pictures of the eponymous capra hircus. Three ales on at the bar - Doom Bar, Tribute and Moorhouse’s New Order theme/endorsed beer. We tried the latter which in decent shape though at £4.40 I would have damned well hope so. Now my curiosity has been satisfied I am unlikely to see myself returning.

This large, two floor pub and restaurant is located just a short walk from Clapham Junction station in the former Temperance Billiards Hall, resulting in a vast interior that belies the comparatively small frontage. The front door takes you into a fairly small entrance space with limited seating options and stairs leading down to the main bar area and up to the mezzanine dining room. The bar is a particularly large room, in which you can easily visualise the rows of snooker tables that would have once filled the space. The servery has been built down the left hand wall of the bare boarded room and there is a good deal of vertical drinking space and standard tables and chairs in the space opposite. To the rear, the room brightens a little and offers some comfortable looking banquette seating options under tongue and groove panelled walls which have been decorated with lots of pictures including a remarkable number depicting goats. The upper level has slightly more formalised seating under a high gabled roof with a skylight making it a bright, airy daytime spot. There is a US diner themed menu which specialises in burgers (around a tenner each) and the food we sampled was all very tasty. The upstairs area deploys table service and we were attended to by a very friendly and helpful waiter, who went out of his way to make sure everyone in our party was happy and got what they wanted. The pub has made an effort on the beer front, with three real ales available – Sharps Doom Bar, St Austell Tribute (£4.00) and Sambrooks Junction – and a surprisingly diverse and comparatively affordable range of local and craft keg and bottle options. My pint of Tribute was a little disappointing, lacking any real condition, but my friend’s pint of Doom Bar tasted much better, so I may have just been unlucky. This is a fairly interesting place that certainly worked well as somewhere to enjoy a bite to eat. It’s quite an attractive building from the outside, but lacks any particularly interesting features within, with the cavernous interior sapping the place of any atmosphere. I’d possibly return in passing or for food again, but there are stronger options just a few minutes away.