Duke Of Catford, Catford, SE6

They had four of the usual suspects on in here - London Pride (£1.40 a half); GK IPA; Bombardier; and Doom Bar. A more unimaginative quartet it would be hard to find, and the Pride wasn't in very good condition either. There are glossy menus on the tables with the usual pubco stuff on it. This is a Stonegate pub, and it shows, having the look of a poor man's 'spoons. The predictable bank of three fruit machines is on the left. Tall tables/tall stools are arrayed along the front by the windows; a pool table is on the right; and at the back on the left is a large, much more comfortable room, furnished with normal tables and chairs. A fairly typical layout then. But it would once have been quite a magnificent pub - indeed the bar back, and perhaps some of the glazing in the upper panels, look very much like original Victorian, or perhaps Edwardian, features. Its central location, and frontage still bearing the original name of the pub set in stone on the parapet, suggest that it might once have been a spectacular Victorian "gin palace". There was some bunting consisting of flags of St George draped over the bar back, perhaps there in a forlorn hope of generating some interest in the forthcoming St George's Day. Anyway, a mundane beer selection, combined with typical pubco blandness, make this a pretty ordinary pub. Nonetheless, it scores points for the external magnificence of the structure itself, and I'm glad it's a survivor.

Previously called the Black Horse and Harrow and now called the Goose this large pub is reputed to be the oldest in Catford. A U shaped bar area is found at the front of the pub and more seating can be found at the rear. Out the back there is a paved yard that is full of picnic tables, some of which are covered by the two jumbrellas. Back inside the pub there are some plasma screens for showing Sky Sports and I don’t recall any background music. The bar is stocked with standard draught and I paid £1.25 for half a generic lager. There are also three hand pumps that were drawing Bombardier and Marston’s EPA; the third pump was unused. Cheap pub grub is also available, but even though it was very busy I didn’t see anyone eating at 14:00 on the recent sunny Friday afternoon I visited. The Goose brand can best be described as a down market Wetherspoons with Sky Sports so I’ll never leave the house thinking “woohoo, I’m off to the Goose”. I found both of the barmaids in here to be unfriendly and one of them was slightly threatening as she was telling a pal about how she’s going to give someone a beating when she sees them next. The worst part was that I was standing next to her pal waiting to be served and ended up getting service from her surly workmate who was at the other end of the bar. Very unprofessional and damn right rude! Will I return? To put in eloquently like the staff and customers of this pub undoubtedly would: like f&%k I will!