Coach & Horses, Rochester

A traditional roadside pub on the A2 at the edge of the town, built in Victorian times. There is a small car park. Set on a corner, there is a small public bar on the left as you go in and a much larger saloon bar formed from knocking through 2 original rooms. The divide serves little purpose – the appalling noise from the sound system permeates both rooms, making conversation between normal humans difficult, which probably accounts for the moronic, monosyllabic grunting which the locals employ to communicate alongside their single word vocabulary (the word began with 'f'). The saloon bar has gaming machines, a pool table, small TV screens and projectors. There were two handpumps on the counter in the saloon, but it turned out these were purely for decoration, and the barmaid, who was one of the thickest people I've met in a while, didn't actually know what their original function was. When we enquired about draft ale we were offered Fosters, though megkeg Shipyard did eventually appear from the public bar. Then we noticed the bottles of Old Peculiar. On asking for plain crisps were informed they only had prawn cocktail, salt and vinegar and – yes, ready salted. It felt grubby – the tables were sticky, the air was stale and smoke was drifting in from somewhere. More Pony and Trap than Coach and Horses, and really not worth the walk up the hill.

As I approached the Coach and Horses late on Saturday afternoon I thought that it was closed due to the scaffolding erected outside, but thankfully the door was open and the pub was trading as usual. To the left of the entrance is the small public bar that houses a fruit machine, projector screen and old fashioned cigarette machine that wouldn’t look out of place in a museum. Directly ahead of the entrance is the large saloon bar that has a huge projector screen, pool table and dartboard at the far rear. The bar is located to the left where standard draught products are available alongside Bombardier and Courage best on hand pump. There is a bit of a western theme behind the bar as there is an old till of the sort that John Wayne would have thrown a few dollars into and above the bar are some wooden boxes labelled with things like ‘colt 45, small arms’. I didn’t spot any signs for Sky Sports, but I would be very surprised if this pub didn’t show the football etc. A jam night was advertised for the Sunday, but I’m not sure if this was a one off or a regular occurrence. I found the staff and the locals to be very friendly in here and I would have no problem returning in the future.