Wellington, Portsmouth

Well I was warned by the previous reviews but it wasn’t as bad as I expected, it’s been redecorated, and on entering a blackboard said “Cask Ales: Type 42, Frigate “ as well as a list of four kegs, described as Draught Beers. I was excited however enquiring at the counter I was told “we did them but the company went bust and we’re waiting to have the board repainted”, it looked like that liquid chalk stuff to me and the keg list was up to date, there were no pulls or other cask dispensing contraptions; WhatPub says No Real Ale and that was updated in October 2023, but whatever. Poncy is still an apposite description of the decor, chandeliers and those oh so witty portraits with animal heads, I don’t think they have one of the eponymous Duke himself with his own head but a lintel or two has a potted biography upon it. Sadly Quentin Crisp wouldn’t recognise his drawing room here any longer and I was saddened not to see revolving puddings. There’s a nice little beer garden at the back to escape the food smells while enjoying your Birra Moretti, Inch’s cider, Fosters, Brixton Pale Ale or an oddly served Guinness.

Official site of Wellington - wellingtonoldportsmouth.co.uk

Official site of Wellington - wellingtonoldportsmouth.co.uk

As mentioned below, this is an old boozer that is now trying to be some sort of bistro with a result that looks like a cross between Quentin Crisp’s sitting room (red and gold shaped wallpaper at the front, gold and silver at the rear, heavy red wine coloured divider curtains, red lighting and drapes) and just a bonkers brilliant early 80s restaurant retro vibe including my all-time favourite, the puddings in a showcase revolving lit fridge. There is a bar at the front where we settled. En route to the gents I noted an upright piano, the top of which was adorned with a number of creole musician statuettes. Three pumps serving two ales - a fairly dull choice of Doom Bar and Ringwood 49er, the latter of which was long in the tooth and not worth finishing. It’s an experience in here all right but not one I’m inclined to repeat.

Once a decent traditional high street pub, and even an ex-GBG entry, The Wellington is now trying to pass itself off as a poncey bistro and failing miserably, instead achieving an effect which is more akin to a Dutch knocking shop. Original features such as the open fireplace, with its original Georgian inset, and structural timbers are overshadowed by a colour scheme which is predominantly brothel-maroon in colour and pervades every flat surface as well as all the soft furnishings; lots of red lights complete the allusion. There is free WiFi available, a mute piano, a small garden at the back and a jukebox in the bar. They run regular quiz nights. There were two ales on draft, Doombar and Ringwood Best. When we eventually managed to get served, an event enabled by the gobby barmaid’s finishing her mobile phone call, we discovered that both beers were drastically over-priced and both tasted insipid. I shouldn’t bother again.